As I drove in to work one day in my usual semi-conscious yet pensive "on route" state, for some reason I started thinking back to my childhood.
I grew up an only child, and under typical circumstances that would mean being raised with a somewhat distorted sense of reality. A reality that would provide easy access to pretty much anything one "requires" with little to no effort. While I cannot deny that growing up an only child came with its fair share of privileges and benefits, it was definitely offset by daily life lessons that came from two pragmatic and street-smart immigrant parents that had lived through a world war, child labor and poverty. My dad was working all the time so I spent most of my time with my mom. We were close and had a special bond and mutual respect that can't easily be described.
So what could a lady that spoke broken English, had the equivalent to a grade six education and had worked physical labour jobs all her life possibly teach me about business leadership? Turns out.... a lot.
As I continued to drive, I was able to correlate the childhood lessons my mom instilled in me to what was working for me as business leader and IT professional. To simplify, I've grouped them into three main "buckets". Here goes:
1. Don't knock it, until you try it... at least once.
I remember growing up, I'd often hear, "E meglio qualche cosa che niente" in Italian which, in English, roughly translates to; "Something is always better than nothing". My mom always challenged me to have an open mind, try new things and make the most with what I had. In fact, she always wanted me to try everything at least once. She really hated to hear any kind of complaining (as a child, she knew what it felt like to go to bed hungry regularly so I could understand this perspective) especially, if I hadn't even tried whatever I was being asked to do. She always pushed for me to try everything at least once. What did this teach me? Well, tenacity, humility and open-mindedness for starters but perhaps most importantly, to have the courage to try new things and not be afraid to make mistakes. My favourite hockey player and childhood hero, Wayne Gretzky was famously quoted as saying, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." It's a philosophy I've stuck by through the years and there have definitely been hits and misses along the way. But more often than not, taking that chance pays off. I remember presenting at a CIO Magazine ITX conference when I was 27 years old. The room was filled with a crowd of about 500 seasoned IT professionals. It was 1998. I was terrified. I was presenting the latest B2B Ecommerce portal that I had developed with a small, but talented team at GE. I often wonder if I had let my fear and trepidation get the better of me and passing on that opportunity, if my career at GE would have taken off as rapidly as it did. When I was asked if I'd like to be a keynote speaker I remember thinking, f**k it... I either sink or swim - but I'm diving in. I'm sure I made my fair share of blunders and mistakes in that presentation, but I was passionate about the topic and I could see what I was saying was resonating with the crowd. It was terrifying and exhilarating at the same time and it created so many opportunities for my career.
2. Nothing is impossible.
Another one of my mom's favorite sayings was "The longer you contemplate how difficult it is to do something, the longer it will take you to complete it." At the core, she truly believed that you are capable of doing anything you put your mind to and that every new challenge must be approached from the angle of plausibility, not impossibility. She invented "Nothing is Impossible" decades before the marketing geniuses at Adidas ever did. That "can-do" attitude drives confidence and helps put fear and trepidation in its place. She didn't know it at the time, but her positive, unstoppable attitude was a major influence in the way I tackled anything that I had never tried - whether it be in my personal or professional life. Richard Branson summarized it well when he said, "if someone offers you an amazing opportunity and you're not sure you can do it, say yes - then learn how to do it later". Love that. When you change your perspective and attitude about any challenge you face and approach it with positivity, confidence and perseverance there is truly nothing you can't do.
3. Don't act like you know everything... because you don't.
Let's not confuse confidence with showmanship. While some leaders dwell in concepts, theory, strategy and sometimes pretend to have all the answers by using industry buzz-words and high-level concepts to give the perception of knowledge, I propose to you that the truly
capable and respected leaders are the ones who aren't afraid to admit their mistakes and perhaps most importantly, are not afraid to say "I don't understand". Humility goes a long way. I am the first to admit, I ask a lot of questions and while some see this as intimidating or even annoying, the truth is, if you can do this with your team and have full trust and transparency between all parties, it can be quite constructive and educational. Every perspective brings value and when trying to solve business problems (or any problem) you absolutely need diversity of thought, and, sometimes you have to go down the "rat holes". I can't tell you how many leadership meetings I've been part of where someone says "we shouldn't be getting into all these details". While I agree you can't manage from within the weeds, you need to understand the business and its challenges, and poking your head in those "holes" once in a while makes for better decisions and direction.
My mom always drove home the importance of humility to me. "In the end, we all end up in the same place" she would say. She worked in the kitchen at Appleby College, a Private School located in Oakville. I worked there as well for four years washing dishes after school. I remember observing her and being impressed with her ability to connect with the students, faculty and even the head-master on such "human" levels. She did not see "titles", "bureaucracy" or "classes", she saw people and she respected everyone and spoke to them as if there was no discernable "hierarchy" and they treated her that way right back. Isn't this the way we all want to be treated? So why should it be any different in a business environment? Why can't leaders build strong relationships with their teams based on openness, humility, mutual respect and understanding?
So there they are, three big life lessons my mom taught me that I believe influenced who I am and helped me make my way through the business world. Consider yourself lucky, I'd usually get these either yelled at me or the message would be followed up with a mild back-hand to the head... but then again, what better way to learn about how to navigate through a tough world?
Thanks mom. I love you. :)
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